The Money of Color

George Carlin never paid any attention to Patti Noland so Patti Noland never liked George Carlin. Same with David Bowie. Bowie NEVER paid any attention to Patti Noland so when he came to America for his "Serious Moonlight Tour" Patti ridiculed him... called it "Serious Moon River." Patti came out to Palestine when George Carlin came to town to play at Durty Nellie's but NOBODY paid any attention to her so she went back to Oak Park. Patti had been coddled from birth because there wasn't enough oxygen in the premature baby's tent so she's blind in the right eye.....it hangs like a grey blob out of her head...almost so in the right eye. She gets a hefty check from the State. This allows her to sit on her Irish **** and demand attention. Also she's really disfigured. Although my love over the years has made her beautiful she has slipped back into ugly.She was eighteen when we met in 1972...backstage at the Quiet Knight where I was headlining. Jim Croce was opening. "Hmmmm," I thought,"that guy's gonna have a name..." He died in a plane crash and wrote "I have a name." Ugly Patti my favorite groupie from the seventies would hang backstage with the stars...she loved Elton and Mickey (Dolenz of the Monkees...Circus Boy)....I fall in love with crippled people..way more back then in my twenties..now at seventy one I feel crippled in the face of all these hotties at Mojo's Coffeehouse where I strudle each morning for dark roast and wait for one of the thinner waitresse to say.."I want to go home with you, Biff, and take off all my clothes and dance for you...do you live inside somewhere?" George Carlin saved the day one night when I was on the Tonight Show and Dick Cavett was subbing for Johnny. "I think pot is a menace to society" said Cavett. George interrupted,"Well booze is a lot more harmful than pot and besides..." and he went off on Cavett and I silently said, "Thank you, George and he heard me..and he hears me......he knew and knows I have "IT"..he always "wanted" "IT"...that spiritual quality that can never be named...Al Livick of Ocala tried to put it into words..."The Christ Consciousness was so thick in the late sixties you could beat it with a stick." George could only "comment" on it and paste on long hair and poke fun.....that's why all his fans are Zombies and pile up "stuff" on Earth that moth and rust doth corrupt....George drove around in a stress limo.....asked me to join him on tour (Oct.'85)....I put the Second Coming in his face in the lobby of a Savannah Hotel...he blanched, blushed..held in the anxiety of knowing "THIS IS ART" THIS disturbs..!!!".He could never deal with it....I gave him the 8th,9th and 10th dirty words...but he played it safe and all the tired old comics were dragged out one more time last night on PBS to pay homage to George who died just in time....and doesn't have to bridge the gap between the white Rocket Scientist parrot George was and the Broadway play I'm writing about the Mothuh*****in'kocksuckin'nigguhz bangin; down the doze and ho's of Western Civility..(Leave it to me) George's wife, Brenda committed suicide (alcohol). He left her for the ***** who laughed at his jokes. a little guy in Palestine called The Little Guy wanted to be a comic and hired George and me. The gig was held Aug.16,1985....The Little Guy's wife,Joan committed suicide shortly thereafter. Rented a motel room...put on her Wedding Gown...drank a bottle of pills ....her body was found by Larry the Fire Chief of Palestine..she left a note..."The Artist knows when the canvas is complete" My billboard on the Sunset Strip (Oct.68) read "Once in a while an artist comes along who should be listened to STRAIGHT THROUGH" Patti Nolands' boyfriend ,John,stacked records on shelve. He whispered to Patti,"I'm gonna get... fired ....Biff's talking too loud in the store." Patti ran quick to me, 'John says you're gonna get him fired for talking too loud in the store." They've been married now twenty years. I have NO sense of "SELF". But when I see my records I have a sense of SHELF. I am a ver-r-r-ry shelfish person. John is a threat to my shelfishness. So when Patti Noland e-mailed me...she wanted to come see me play in Chicago her husband had gone fishing I said "NO." She wanted my phone number...again, "NO!" She was a relic of the past....I am a relic of the future..the Bully Biff in Back to the Furure..the Cuddly Bear Biff in Black to the Past....presently biffing Patti.... "Patti..your husband pulls his head out of your ass to go fishing and you quick come to me for a good time..you're a groupie..I am the Quiet Knight in Shining Armor..the armor is my performance, my piano..my songs and records, theme parks, cable TV shows, websites, youtubes, but not facebook or MySpace because I'm huge and that's only for the SERFS and the BLOOD VASSALS in this Media Evil Kingdom of High Tech Tick Tock Talknology yada....SERFS UP ! I rule with all white males the NET we cast ..ah mean FUH-AST...over ALL T